You-know-who (and for those of you who don't, I'm talking about JESUS) is taking a break from update duty (which is the written equivalent of peeling potatoes) to focus on leisure pursuits like sitting still while staring at the wall instead this week, so I'm left to try and fill the void.
There's a joke about Kir to be had here, but it probably won't become apparent to any of you for about the next ten years, so feel free to save this otherwise unremarkable post and read it again when you're older, wiser and possibly contemplating trying to recapture your youth by transporting a minor across state lines for so-called "immortal purposes." Actually, even under those circumstances (which, let's face it, lend themselves to humor!) it'd probably be something of an anticlimax (and there's ANOTHER joke about...okay, now I'm being childish) anyway, and I really only included it in the first place to make A think I was actually providing some sort of content for the site. She's easily amused. Hey, maybe I should make the font on this bit match the background so she can't see it...
...so anyway, just a quick update this week due to the generally increased effort:productivity ratio that seems to be in effect. I don't have any evidence to support this conjecture, but I'm pretty sure the delay in writing this story (and everything else I need an excuse for) is somehow connected to those SOLAR FLARES that someone told me about (against my will, obviously). If anyone reading this dares to argue with my theory I intend to defame and misrepresent them via the medium of proselytical comic strips in the style of Jack "potentially misleading website address" Chick! Further information on this subject (the inevitable defeat and destruction of my enemies, for those having difficulty keeping up) can be found in my soon-to-be-published tract, LI'L SUZY CONTRA WAGNER.
With the requisite filler now just a bad memory, on to this week's story! Double Shift features the debut of a new character, Leigh, and is inkeeping with Halloween's all-supernatural theme here at BB even if it might not seem to be initially. A insists that she "meant" to write a different story but somehow ended up with this, which is a possible indicator of mental illness and/or demonic possession - and no, don't encourage her - but it seems to have turned out quite well regardless. The same can't be said for the rest of this update (even compared to the first half, shut up!) because I've just been told not to go into too much detail about her and am consquently unable to employ the barely amusing pun that I had planned to repeat over and over again until a suitable length had been reached. Sigh!
Double Shift should be followed by something slightly more involved (and possibly more revealing) with the same character this month, although mentioning the possibility may have just doomed it to never happen. The internal (italicized) dialogue is something that may need to be fine-tuned a little as it evolves, but YOU'LL ALL GET USED TO IT otherwise I'll FIND OUT WHERE YOU LIVE and FORCE YOU to SMUGGLE HEROIN. As one reader recently pointed out, interactivity is a GOOD thing!
I'm starting to feel irritated by the fact that the word "smuggle" sounds like a neologism which could have been created for an also-ran puppet show like Fraggle Rock, so I'll take that as a cue to wind this up and focus more on my charity work - forcing disadvantaged children to watch me act out the entire first series of Fist of the North Star, alone, with musical numbers. Patrick Stewart wasn't available.
To defibrillate your dying will to live, read Double Shift. If you're feeling dangerous and want to risk your own life unnecessarily you can take the longer route to the same outcome by crawling over to the Misc. Sexy Girls section first.
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