Blame R, it's all his fault. If he hadn't downloaded over two thousand NES ROMS for me then maybe this week's story would've been on time. It's not MY fault, it's not Dr. Mario's fault (can you believe that my parents NEVER BOUGHT ME THE GAME?! That's a form of child abuse, someone call a social worker!), it's all clearly R's fault.
Work this week concluded when I found out what happened after you beat the 20th virus level of Dr. Mario (that there's a super secret 21st level!). By then it was too late, I had pissed away the week tossing multi-coloured pills. I single handily wiped out an epidemic at the cost of having a story on time, but hopefully my sacrifice will one day be noted by the Catholic Church and they'll hasten the process to get me canonised (eat my dust, Mother Theresa!).
Actually, slacking can be blamed on my notoriously bad work ethic (what, you mean I have to actually DO something to become rich and famous?) and my notoriously bad 'Alana doesn't drink enough water' habit. Half the week I was obsessed with stacking pills, the other half was spent moaning FOR pills. Once again your most humble of writers and internet personality extraodinaire was in a dire state.
Thankfully R had a cure for diet brain - fried mozzarella sticks, potato skins with bacon, and chicken wings with three types of dipping sauce courtesy of TGI Friday's. My level of resistance was nil; I simply dove in. This experience gave me some sage wisdom; sometimes you've got to eat BAD to feel GOOD.
With my concentration having been boosted a million percent, I FINALLY managed to finish an Aspasia story that's been sitting around since early March. And when I say 'finally' I mean, FINALLY because this entire week can proudly boast of SEVERAL aborted attempts to get this fucking story done. Not only did I manage to tack on another thousand words, but I even bit the bullet and WENT BACK TO REWRITE EARLIER SECTIONS.
Arrogance aside (YOU MEAN THAT SOMEONE ON THE INTERNET MIGHT HAVE AN INFLATED EGO?!), I must be getting 'better' because warning signs went off when I reread the first thousand words I had written months ago. But because I REALLY HATE WORK I pretended like nothing was wrong and tossed the finished product on my editor (AKA, R)'s lap.
So there I was, happily licking diet safe mousse from the back of a spoon while watching the news with magazines spread across my lap when he entered the room. And he didn't just ENTER, he entered WITH A LOOK, and then closed the door BEHIND HIMSELF. I summed up the glaringly obvious response with just a 'oh no' (not even a gut wrenching 'OH NO!' just a semi-whispered 'oh shit he's smarter than I thought!' one).
'THE SECOND HALF IS WRITTEN ENTIRELY DIFFERENTLY THAN THE FIRST HALF,' I confessed with a tearless sob, knowing that my ass would be BACK in my fucking computer chair for rewriting purposes (I'll fucking DO it but it doesn't mean that I have to LIKE doing it!). He said something about it at least being indicative that I've progressed quite far in a short time, but I didn't let something like ACHIEVEMENT get in the way of the fact that I WOULD HAVE TO REOPEN WORD AND DO MORE FUCKING WORK.
Not to go ON (and ON and ON) about how great I am, but I'm starting to get a FEEL for this 'rewriting' thing. It's not that I was TERRIFIED of the concept, it was just that I wanted to dump a story the second after writing it like an unwanted pregnancy. In fact, it's only been within this past year that I've been able to reconcile my inability TO READ MY OWN FUCKING WORK. Just because I had WRITTEN it didn't mean I had to READ IT once it was done, dammit.
The blue blood Aries in me wants things MY WAY ALL OF THE GODDAMN TIME, but unfortunately writing isn't (or isn't always) one of those careers that's willing to bend over backwards to facilitate my stubborn streak. I've spent years dragging my feet and struggling against the absolute to the detriment of my work, and it's only been within the past six months (or so) that I've reconciled some NASTY habits into some occasionally OBSTINATE habits.
While I'm happy that I was able to go back and finish a story that had been sitting around incomplete for the past several months I'm even HAPPIER that I've grudgingly resigned myself to the knowledge that IT'S ALMOST NEVER PERFECT THE FIRST TIME AROUND. The difference between shit being GOOD and shit being REALLY FUCKING GOOD is the willingness to go back and MAKE it really fucking good.
Don't get me wrong here, I'm not saying that I've now MASTERED the redrafting technique, I've simply identified it as a (previous) obstacle, one that I have to tackle HEAD ON if I even want to entertain the notion of improving. Even better, I don't necessarily mind going back to rewrite whole sections because I know it's for A REALLY DAMN GOOD REASON.
Last week's story, Third Base, is a good example. I felt that it was rough around the edges until I took a second shot at it, and that extra effort proved to really MAKE the story. While I did alter some content of this week's story (Student Handbook), I don't feel that it had as big of an impact as it did with Third Base. There's a definite improvement, but it didn't feel as radical.
In fact, the ONLY reason why there's a new Aspasia story is because I REALLY FUCKING HATE leaving work undone. Thanks to dehydration, Dr. Mario, dieting, and other assorted 'D' activities, I thought I'd scam my way through this week by just hammering out 1,000 words to finish an incomplete story (which turned out to be easier thought than done). So enjoy Miss Spastica, because she's going on a mini-vacation while I begin working on a long list of characters who haven't seen the light of day in YEARS.
To read Aspasia's new story, Student Handbook, simply click here. Or, of course, you can go the long route by clicking the Misc. Sexy Girls link in the Fiction section. Student Handbook has been filed under the 2005 heading. If you're interested in reading other obnoxious adventures of Aspasia and her cereal-eating dog, Planck, be sure to hit up the Character Index.
PS: And just because I've been lazy this goddamn week doesn't mean you can. If you haven't already voted for Benway Bunnies in the 2005 Blogette awards I hope it's because pirhanas gnawed off all of your limbs, or you've recently been attacked by some Komodo Dragons. Voting ends June 25th so I POLITELY SUGGEST that you click here, select BENWAY BUNNIES, and cast your vote...or else!
« Last Entry - Index - Next Entry »