A new week, a new update, and a new story - can life get any better? Let me answer on YOUR behalf, 'no, Alana, life simply can't get any better, you're amazing, wonderful, terrific and I pledge my life to your campaign for (sexy!) world domination'.
It's the third Saturday in January and my ass is STILL resolution free (actually, I made one tiny work related one, but it's super top secret so I won't divulge...yet). I SUPPOSE I could somehow benefit from making a superfluous list, or be all 'snarky' and make an anti-list, or go on about how lame they are in the first place (I think that covers about everything).
If I HAD a list I'm sure it'd involve obtaining some Eastern European country no one really cares about, setting up my sexy dictatorship, and rounding up all the nubile virgins in neighbouring territories for my own debauched reasons (a monopolyathon!). Rather decent aspirations for 2005, right? Unfortunately there's no list to be had since I managed to accomplish things LAST year that most people spend their life masturbating over.
Take career more seriously? Check. Work more, work often, and improve quality of said work? Check. Fit into clothing that was bought six years ago when I was a frolicking young 18-year-old? Check. Distance self from anything and everything that acts as a deterrent and barrier? Check. Achieve Pantene Pro-V hair? Check. Smite enemies and their children with a rusty shovel? Chec - let's forget about that one.
I had EVERY intention (honestly, truly, really!) that this update would be dedicated to one of the three stories awaiting their final 'chapter', specifically the abruptly cut Park & Ride. Unfortunately inspiration and I were separated when confronting an unfinished sex scene and I was left to panic all alone.
So, I did the sissy thing - I wrote a brand new story instead. I know, I know, all your respect for me as a professional has been washed down the drain. What kind've writer breaks down and writes something entirely NEW when she can't finish a story almost, nearly, practically done? Park & Ride won this round but NEXT time it'll be a different story (see why that's funny? see?).
Since like attracts like I was compelled to sit down and hammer out something new with Helix (Mr. Bitchy Gay Guy Extraordinaire). And, in this particular case, sans sass (if you do the math you'll discover that once you subtract 'sass' you're left with 'sissy') thanks to his somewhat unusual predicament.
Helix, as we learned with his eponymous debut story, is one of those CLOSET gays and has made it his sworn crusade to ensure that his secret remains a secret outside of the Barely Legal house. Unfortunately his TA isn't in the know and that non-knowledge makes life a little difficult when it turns out her interest in him goes beyond academic. So what's an attractive well-groomed gay man supposed to do? Panic and contemplate faking an epileptic fit, naturally!
There isn't much to say about Equal Opportunity, while it does sail past my minimum word count (two thousand) it's more of a verbal doodle than serious story. It owes its creation to a writing exercise; one executed to assure myself I could force myself WRITE and finish something within 48 hours even if I really didn't want to.
That fact alone, in my opinion, weakens the story. After about a thousand words I wasn't sure where to take it since I had originally intended for Jerusalem to call Helix up for harassment purposes (she does that on a daily basis). So the later half I haphazardly floundered about in the hopes I could finish it on a somewhat satisfactory note.
Personally, I'm not feeling the story. My editor, however, argues my 'crazy' sentiment. Although he did point out that I reverted back to 'generic' narrative, but that could be anything from not being into the story to working with a character of the opposite sex whose interest lies in a gender I'm not enthusiastic about.
I prefer Helix to Equal Opportunities, but I'm somewhat biased since Jerusalem and Rhiannon featured in the former. With their presences I had a rather solid idea of the conversations that'd take place which helps dictate individual narration, something that Equal Opportunities lacked. I suppose there's always NEXT time, but when something like this happens I kind've sour on the character for a while.
Hardcore / long-term readers will be delighted to find a tiny cameo of everyone's favourite neurotic college student (no, not Paige or Aspasia) - Magdalena! Poor Magdalena hasn't graced the site in YEARS (Christ only knows WHY since she's super adorable cute and fun to work with) so I decided it was high time to give her some fresh air (in a totally plausible situation, by the way).
Anyway.
My ass needs to locate a bottle of AWOL strawberry champagne to chill before our take-away dinner arrives so you'll have to excuse me for cutting this update rather short. Next weekend you can look forward to another fun-filled college adventure, but this time with the ever so eloquent Aspasia as your host. Verbal confrontations, ahoy!
To read Helix's new story, Equal Opportunity, simply click here. Or you can go the scenic route by hitting up the Barely Legal link within the Fiction section of the site. Since Equal Opportunity was written this year you'll find it under the brand new 2005 header. If you're looking for other Helix stories (he has appeared in several) make sure to look him up on the Character Index.
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