I'm not deluded enough to think my web presence necessitates a F.A.Q. (even if I am vain - just a little). This section isn't for me, it's for YOU.
« Please advise me on [subject X]?
« Will you read my work/visit my site?
« How can I keep updated about your work?
« Why isn't there any personal information?
« How can I help support Benway Bunnies?
« Please advise me on [subject X]?
Things I am not: patient, friendly, helpful, or your fairy godmother. I'm not a living tutorial or advice column at your disposal. I barely have enough time to respond to legitimate email, let alone disperse information easily found with any search engine. ...top
Absolutely, although you can't have written work unless you're willing to pay. Flattery and a sincere interest in my work will get you far with me (I'm shallow and self-centred like that). Simply shoot over your proposal to my editor through my contact form and he'll notify me of your interest. ...top
I hate to repeat myself, but I no longer offer my stories to non-paying publications. One of the most difficult aspects of writing is trying to make others understand that it's my livelihood. People don't work full-time for free, so I don't see why people assume I'd be more than happy to give my work away for nothing. I'm happy to negotiate with publications if they're willing to reimburse me financially, but not otherwise. ...top
« Will you read my work/visit my site?
No. There's no clause in my chosen career that requires me to feign interest would-be 'writers'. I'm not interested in validating people's nonexistent abilities, and I have no desire to become your new best friend. Please save your bad poems for your creative writing teacher. There's a reason why I didn't include a space for site addresses within my contact form, and I'd be grateful if you acknowledge and abide by it. ...top
« How can I keep updated about BB.Com?
The only way to be absolutely sure you're completely abreast of news is by joining the Benway Bunny mailinglist. I send, on average, four newsletters a month filled with information regarding new stories, polls, contests and site updates. List membership assures you that you'll get notified the second something's changed, and also rewards you with stories and behind-the-scenes excitement that non-members aren't even aware of. ...top
« Where's your personal information?
Benway Bunnies isn't a personal site; it's an online collection of my work, and has only information relating to my career. If you're looking for more personal details than I've already given you'll have to wait for my (auto)biography. ...top
« How can I help support Benway Bunnies?
Blind loyalty is a good start, virgin sacrifices are appreciated but not necessary. I'm notoriously reluctant to interact, although, ironically, Benway Bunnies thrives on reader / visitor interaction. If becoming a minion in my crusade for world domination (think of it as a sexy charity) appeals to you, then you'll be relieved to know that I don't want your money (at the moment, anyway), I want your enthusiasm.
Enthusiasm is interest dubiously exaggerated, and any interest in my work compels me to be even MORE interesting. Clearly, as you can see, it's a vicious cycle with sexy benefits for all. To keep it going, you can do the following:
« Tell your relatives, friends, ministers and foul-mouthed parrots about my work, and don't take '...but I have moral reservations about necrophilia!' for an answer
« Pimp the site like it's the classiest ho you've got - grab a button, banner, or text link and slap it on your site (and don't be afraid to BlogRoll BB, people will still respect you if they find out you read sleazy fiction!).
« Realise that when I announce 'I NEED SOME HELP, PLEASE' it's not for no reason or my own sadistic amusement, it's because I honestly NEED EVERYONE'S HELP (everyone = the non-mail bouncing 90% that silently sits on my notifylist).
« Take part in novelty projects (i.e. polls, surveys, etc). No matter how trivial they may appear, I do derive SOME ego-stroking satisfaction when I see people genuinely interested in the development of my work.
« Nominate BB / my work / me for any award, site of the moment (or month), featured spot, or Nobel prize.
« Vote daily as if your life depends on it! (It does!) Be sure to go to punch the CLIX ME! link on the index page ONCE EVERY HOUR (because less isn't MORE, less is obviously LESS.) ...top
« I have this school project where I have to feature / discuss / interview / profile someone, can it be you? (Yes, I've actually been asked this several times and I'm not just putting it here to make myself seem and feel important, at least not totally.)
Unless you go to a radical liberal arts school (and if that's the case, GET OUT NOW!) there's a decent chance that my work isn't appropriate for your average homework assignment, but if you're the type that likes to gamble with their GPA then shoot your question / proposal over to my editor via the contact form.
The only REAL rules I have when it comes to helping out students are 'PLEASE HAVE A BACK-UP PLAN' (because unless I've signed a contact in blood, there's a good chance I might have to pull out for whatever reason) and 'GIVE ME AMPLE TIME' (so you won't fail when I have to pull out at the last second). ...top